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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Surprises


I remember a long time ago on an episode of the comedy "Roseanne".  Her son on the show asked her if he was an 'accident'.  The sisters on the show had been teasing him, telling him mom and dad didn't want him.  They didn't plan the pregnancy and birth of him, so he was an 'accident'.  He was distraught, which of course is what the sisters wanted, so he ran to his mom Roseanne and asked her.  She replied, he was a surprise.  He then asked, what's the difference?  She told him an accident is something you didn't expect to happen.  A surprise was something you didn't know you wanted until you got it, thus convincing him her oopsie pregnancy was not a mistake, but merely an unplanned happy event. 

Most of us like surprises, the happy kind, not the: "Oh my God! It's a 6.9 earthquake!" kind. I like giving surprises, it's fun to experience the joy brought to another person with a small gift or token of affection.  Getting surprises can be tricky, cause sometimes people mean well, but it may not be what the recipient would want. In that case, we smile and give abundant thank you's, and be as gracious as possible to the giver so as to not insult them or hurt their feelings.

I lead a pretty uneventful life, most days are like all the others, nothing out of the ordinary happens and I don't get many surprises, unless somebody pisses me off at the 4-way stop and I have to extend a three finger wave.  I'm pretty laid back and easygoing, unless...you cut me off at the 4-way!  If that happens, I turn into somebody even *I* don’t' like.  So, I mostly take the back roads and avoid the 4-way altogether, that's the sane thing to do and it helps keep my blood pressure down. And, keeps me out of jail.  The point to all of this is, I got surprises today!  It was nice surprises, yet...I'm ambivalent.  All in one day, I scored blog interviews, a reply from a query for the first three chapters of "Random Encounters", and scheduled a half hour radio interview that will be streamed live! Holy bajeebers, batman! I'm more nervous than a virgin on her wedding night! I've not thus far in my very short writing aspirations given a live reading of my book.  Now, it's not that I have jitters from speaking live; I'm actually quite entertaining as long as I have a script to follow.  I just have never read PORN out loud for people to hear! Will I get bleeped out with the seven dirty words? Some are in there, you know.  I always envisioned readers of "Random Encounters" would be curled up in their bed with a hot cup of something, hanging on every word to find out how Veronica manages to get men she doesn't know to silently have sex with her. Doesn't sound difficult, does it?  Aaah...it takes skill, lemme tell ya'...I digress...I saw the reader silently relishing the escapades of this poor confused young woman who simply has some unconventional sexual needs. Not reading it out loud to untold numbers of readers listening to it live! Yikes! 

I'll be back when it gets close to the dates in question, the blog reviews and interviews will be online and the radio interview will stream on Dec. 6 @ 3:30 PM PST.  I'll be reading porn out loud in the middle of the afternoon!  Sounds heathenly, yes?

Hug somebody today! I'm going to this afternoon and it'll be divine.

Surprisingly yours,

~ K

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