I find myself going in so many directions, sometimes it's more difficult than others to balance it all out. I purposely have several projects going at once, mostly because I can't live without the aggravation, but also because, well...we never know when we'll run out of time. I'm afraid I won't get everything done that I want to. Or more importantly, that I won't get to see all of the people I want to see. I try to fit a 32 hour day into 24 hours, which means that something, or worse...someone, always suffers a lack of my attention. I'm so obstinate and stubborn, I still try to find ways to fit it all in and not shortchange anything or anyone. Usually, I'm the one who ends up with not enough time for myself, and as I get older and hopefully a little wiser, I realize that I need to be more attentive to myself. Certain factors of my health situation require that I be more vigilant about taking care of myself, but aside from that I really don’t spend much time on just me. I have few precious times just to myself, even when I'm here at this keyboard writing down my thoughts or working on a fiction project, there are people all around me in the house going about their daily or sometimes nightly routines. My daughter's work schedule is erratic in the retail world, her boyfriend who lives here, also in retail, normally works nights, and I frequently dog sit for my other daughter who is a teacher and also coaches the high school dance team. If she has long days for parent teacher conferences, or the dance team is performing at a football game, she'll bring her little shih tzu doggie to have some company during her long workday. I work a full time job daily, working in my dr. appointments, regular lab visits and various tests into that work day. I'm so blessed to have a flexible job and people who understand my illness and that it requires so much of my time. In between all of that, I manage to blog at least a couple of times a week now, pay attention to the social networks to keep up with friends all over the world, and I've somehow managed to finish three self published books with two more on the way early next year. Oh, yeah...I'm working on getting bands out on the road for some winter shows. I have no clue how the housework, grocery shopping, laundry, and usual daily chores even get done! My life is a whirlwind for sure, so please pardon my air headedness at times. I have to look at a calendar to know what day it is, sometimes more than once a day. I depend on my computer and phone to remind me of the time to try to be punctual for appointments and work times.
How chaotic is your life? Are you afraid if you stop running yourself ragged that you might have some idle time? What is idle time, anyway? Anybody know? Here are some things I think of whenever my mind has a second to think of slowing myself down:
“Life is short, eat dessert first” ~ I don’t know who said it first, but I agree
“Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today” ~James Dean
“As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do” ~Zachary Scott
“To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions” ~William James (this one is my favorite!)
“Hug somebody today! You may never get the chance again” ~ Me :-)