Transitions

I find myself more in an observant mode these days than a participative one.  I've spent a lot of time the last few months watching, rather than doing.  I've spent the better part of my life in the middle of things, whatever those things were at the time.  I'm very social, I love to be around people, and I wanted to belong in whatever environment I've been in.  More lately, I find I don't have that need to belong anymore and I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's the aging factor, or perhaps I've evolved (as we all do) and simply no longer have the desire to be in the spotlight. 

For example, I used to compulsively make sure I logged into Facebook every day, scanned all the goings on and added my comments, yahoo's, smilies, encouragement...whatever was needed to let others know I support them in whatever their current endeavors are, up or down.  It was important to me to let friends know I'm there for them, even if only in spirit, sans physical presence.  Now days, I may get to Facebook twice a week and I'm ok with that. I don't feel the need to be present there anymore than that and it's not that I don't value all of my Facebook friends, on the contrary. I hold all of you very dear to me as there are many of you that I only keep in touch with through the social network, or wouldn't have met up with at all if not for it. So, I'm very grateful for the opportunity to know so many lovely people.  Don't we all value the "want to" relationship over the "have to" relationship? I think so.

Another...I used to feel the pressure to blog every week, as that's what all of the experts say an author needs to do in order to establish their voice and platform. At one time, that was very important to me and I followed it religiously, even blogging up to twice a week to keep in touch.  Now...I don't feel the pressure to do that and I'd rather blog when I really have something to say, not just talk to keep my name out there in the blogosphere. So, if I'm absent from here periodically it's not because I don't love you and miss you all terribly, it's that I don't have anything pertinent to say and I don't want to waste my time or yours on babbling. Don't get me wrong...I love to ramble! I'm also very good at it, but I don't want to wear out my welcome on that front.  There is rambling galore in my poetry anthology "LifeLoveLust" if you're of the persuasion to read more of that.

Happnins'...

Another thing I've previously not done, not regularly that is, which is to use slang when writing in a proper format.  I find it rather whimsical, though, and am doing it more these days.  I guess I'm more relaxed :) 

Technological happnins' - I'm sending the old HP to the graveyard later today and hookin' up my new one. The old work horse has been limping along for a while now and its time to let it go. It's a long time coming and I'm a little anxious about the transition from 2003 Word to Works.  I think it will all transfer over with my thumb drive, but I'm keeping the old one right here for a bit, just in case...newfangled stuff scares me!

Beautiful sighting happnins' - Spring is sublime in the Pacific NW! We've got beautiful clear sunny days with highs in the 60's to low 70's, which is average for us.  Soon, though, June will be here and we'll slip right into the heat of summer and I'll be turning on the a/c to get me through those short months.  Heat is one of lupus' worst enemies, so I stay inside with the a/c during the hot months. Let me know if ya'll will be traveling to my neck of the woods this summer.  The lake is beautiful!

Stalker happnins' - My favorite musical hunks will be here on Tuesday 5/22.  Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers are back at Knitting Factory Spokane with our local guys Buffalo Jones opening up for them again.  It's a great combination!  Makes the Sugar Momma proud those boys have come so far and are strongly at the helm of their own touring.  Yes, touring! They are going on a four city tour with RCPM to open up for them on this leg of their tour ending up in Ft. Collins, CO.  Rock on!

That's about all of the rambling I have for today.  Next week, I'll give a complete review of the show, of course, and any other new updates.  I've just about made the decision to sever my exclusive ties with Amazon, so I'll give more details on that.  There will definitely be abundant free days of downloads before that contract period is up, so you'll have plenty of chances to download some free reading.  I'm progressively editing "Back Track" and will have some new news on that front. 

Have a beautiful day! Hugs all around here, except for the Lhasa.  We're on the outs as he's made a habit of digging in the planter that holds my Mother's Day roses...

Grudgingly yours,

~ K

"Random Encounters" for "Nada"

Thanks to RCPM fan boarderb for this great song. The video is a little shaky, but the audio is perfecto! My daily connection to the music and the moral of the story is: You can't beat free! Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Zero pesos to download "Random Encounters" today at Amazon .  Download it to your e-reader, tablet, desktop...whatever you have to read on, it's free today! Enjoy :)

Please don't forget to click the "like" button if you haven't already. As mentioned before, the goal is to move up in the Amazon  rankings and every click whether it be on the "like" button and/or by downloading the e-book, helps move me up in the rankings. Mostly, I hope you enjoy the story.  Just a reminder...this is erotic romance. It starts out from the first page with a sizzling encounter and evolves into a tender love story about a women who, when the story begins is a little confused, then finds her way in the maze of emotions in life.  Let's move on...

***

Once again, there is much conversation this past week on the internets :) about self-publishing.  We are still clearly greatly divided in our positions and there doesn't seem to be a middle ground. I've yet to encounter either authors or other professionals in the business (agents, editors, publishers) who don't have a staunch opinion either way.  People are either for, or against, and the bickering that goes back and forth is almost childish. It looks to me like the professionals are nervous.  They continue to disparage those of us who have taken the step to self publish instead of waiting for a publisher to pick us up and take a chance on our books.  The talk ranges from being impetuous and impatient, to writing rubbish that wouldn't have a chance with a publisher anyway.  The criticism citing poorly written to offensive content.  Content opinions aside (i.e., one person's trash is another person's treasure) I don't believe a poorly written book would make it anywhere!  People are not about to hype the story if they weren't able to understand it due to poor grammar, spelling, or point of view inconsistencies. There are many self published authors with success at Amazon . A good example: "A Howl In The Night" by JK Brandon. A self-published novel that is #10 in the Amazon rankings. It gives the rest of us hope that we might just appear on that first page of best rankings, which is definitely something to work diligently at achieving.  Poor grammar, spelling, or other negatives in a book won't make it past the first round, so I'm not worried about not making the cut for those reasons.  I write stories with engaging plot, likeable characters, and almost always have a happily-ever-after.  Some short stories are dark, but those will only be seen in my upcoming short story anthology which is currently taking a back seat to "Back Track".  Some poetry is dark and is available in "LifeLoveLust". As for "Back Track", I'm almost finished editing and then I'll be searching for a cover.

***

It's a beautiful sunny day in the Pacific Northwest! I perfect time to get out with your e-reader and soak up some sun while taking in a great story and don't forget to give random hugs today! I met up with an old acquaintance yesterday while out and about and the hugs were warm and wonderful!  The Lhasa is out on the back deck taking in the morning sunshine with a dog nap. I may join him later with something soothing from the Keurig and a good book :)

Confidently yours, 

 *Hugs* ~ K

"Even the losers get lucky sometimes"

 

That's from the fabulous Tom Petty, of course. I didn't win the big mega lottery this week, despite buying an extra batch of tickets. Isn't it a little bit fun to buy that ticket hoping against all hope that we could win even a share of that mega millions jackpot and what we would do with the money? I'm a pretty simple gal. Probably because I've never had a lot to spend, so I'm careful with it.  Getting a large sum of money, though...I might just splurge and buy myself something nice. I know...I read all of the odds of other things it would be more likely to have happen, but still...it's fun to dream, and you never know.  Somebody is going to win, and my ticket has just as much chance as the next person.  Since I didn't win this time, I'll continue toiling away as a starving artist writing more books, submitting to more agents, publishers and meantime, self-publish to get some satisfaction for my efforts and to share with you all.  Which brings me to my next topic...

***

"Back Track" editing is coming along nicely. Grace Turner is a forty-something widow merely existing on a sprawling ranch in southwestern Colorado. In the two years since her beloved husband passed away from a quickly progressing form of cancer, she's let the ranch go. The depression of grieving left her lost and alone. Emerging from the dark days of grief, Grace awakens to the realization that it's time to get on with her life and start living again. Hiring someone to help with upkeep and maintenance around the ranch would be the first step to moving forward. Arranging her surroundings conducive to making a new life is a healthy beginning. The cattle needed to be driven to market. That isn't a job a woman can do on her own.  Not even a seasoned rancher like Grace. She needs a ranch hand experienced with horses and cattle drives. 

Juan-Carlos Martinez is a nomad ranch hand running from a gang lifestyle former past. That lifestyle took his best friend in a bloody gunfire, and he realized it wasn't a life he wanted to be a part of anymore. He wanders into Grace's neck of the woods in search of refuge as a ranch hand so he can camouflage himself from his past, and the people who were a part of it. He's been running...hoping to stay ahead of that past and the people he knows are tracking him. Grace hires him to help around the ranch and get the cattle driven to market. Working together to bring the ranch back to a respectable status, Grace and Juan-Carlos grow closer, and he knows he must deal with his past in order to hope for a future with Grace. Together, they travel back to Juan-Carlos' gangland territory just outside of Tucson to confront the kingpin and end the running so they can have a peaceful life. That's when the bullets fly - literally! They meet up with Juan-Carlos' old buddies and walk right into the middle of what appears to be a gangland ambush. The twists and turns their lives take from there is just the beginning of outrunning the past Juan-Carlos is so determined to escape. An edgy escape dotted with gunfire, helicopter surveillance and an illusion that proves things aren't always as they seem.

That's a little teaser of what "Back Track" is about. Originally written in 2006, I've been pondering self-publishing it for a while now.  I've had some setbacks health wise and haven't been able to sit here at this computer as much as I've wanted to the last couple of weeks, so it's not quite ready to print a proof copy as was my original goal.  I am, however, optimistic it will be very soon, hopefully in the next two weeks if arthur will give my hands a break and a little more free movement.  I've had folks ask me, why don't I just get someone else to type it on the keyboard for me? Well...I suppose that would be an option if I absolutely could not type anymore, but my writing brain doesn't work that way. If you've met me, you know I'm not so verbal. I'm much more chatty in writing. My verbal communication isn't nearly as articulate as my written form.  It's just the way my twisted brain works with sending the words to my hands, not my mouth. Anyone else out there with that eccentricity?

***

Mean time, I'm still including a bonus of "LifeLoveLust"  at my website when you buy "Random Encounters" or "Bright Lights, Money & Show Biz, Honey" , or both.  I repeat this regularly as sales from Amazon for "LifeLoveLust" have been brisk of late and I want to be sure everybody knows it's free, when you buy one or both of my other books from my website. E-reader versions are available at Amazon, just use the links with the book covers to the left of the page here and it'll take you right to them. At .99 each, it's a pretty good bargain to give you an escape for a little while.  If you're a KDP Select member, they are free.  Enjoy! :)

***

"This ain't no joke, you gotta know how to bend if you don't wanna get broke, to keep your piece in the big bad game, you know you gotta go a little loco...to stay sane" ~ Roger Clyne

Happy April Fool's Day! I'm not one for practical jokes, but I do get a kick out of hearing others experiences with them.  Give me a holler here and tell me about yours. I could use a chuckle or two. 

In true peace and love hippie-esque fashion...big hugs to everybody! I hope your first day of April brings promise of a spring filled with sunshine, love, and much peace in your world, wherever it be. 

Determinedly yours, 

 *Hugs* ~ K

"You have the power to re-write your destiny"

Really?  Do you believe that? Or, do you believe that everything is as it should be and we don't control our future?  I'm a little bit of both.  I think in order to be content (which I've always had a problem being) we must accept that everything is in place as it should be.  Yet, we can't just sit here, do nothing and not make an effort to grab some gusto for our future.  We have to put ourselves out there, make things happen, cause a ruckus...whatever it takes to get noticed and promoted in this wacky world. 

Me...I waited til the kids were grown.  I kept little corners of napkins with poetry lines on them and notes of plot lines for stories I would later write.  And, I did write them.  I just needed to de-clutter my brain from all the mom stuff that I had going on in my 20's and 30's.  Having children as young as I did blessed me in such a way in that they were grown and I was a grandmother by the time I was 40, and being able to write while I was still young enough to remember it all was a plus!   So, here I was approaching my 50's and decided it was time to take that big plunge and get those stories published.  I lurked for a long time in the writing world.  I read other author's blogs.  I followed up every lead and referral I could find for editors, agents, publishing houses.  I persistently queried (and still do) seeking representation. The big change that took place during all of my lurking and waiting for just the right moment to launch myself, was the digital book era.  When I began my fact finding mission, paper books were still the main form of selling fiction and non-fiction so I had to shift my game plan.  The starting pitcher, paperback books, was taken out early...about mid-way through the fifth inning, then rookie e-book reliever came in to finish the game.  Rookie e-book won, by the way.  It was far simpler and much faster to self-publish with Amazon than keep searching for someone in the business to help me further me from being a writer to an author.  I've not regretted it.  The stuffy world of traditional publishing just isn't for someone like me. I write fluff.  I'm controlling.  I don't take criticism or suggestions easily. I'm pretty stubborn about it all, which doesn't differ from the rest of my life much.  I'm what most would term 'hell-bent'.  I want what I want whether it's good for me, or not.  Sometimes, a higher power intervenes to slap my hands and as with a toddler trying to eat the paper wrapping of the cupcake, shouts a scolding "NO!"...you can't have it your way.  Then, I try to find a back door to have things my way.  I'm that obstinate! Or mentally disturbed, however you choose to look at it.  Either way, my completed stories "Random Encounters" and "Bright Lights, Money & Show Biz, Honey" are available electronically at Amazon.com.  If you'd prefer the paperback versions and covet poetry ramblings to maybe help get you through these cold winter nights we still have left, I always throw in "LifeLoveLust" as a bonus when you buy. 

***

It's a sign of more changes a-foot in Peacemakerville.  Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers has decided to revamp their website and one thing that won't be included in the new one, is a message board.  I'm sad about not having one central location to congregate electronically with other PM fans, but I understand how technology can weigh down the business process.  That part of the band's image, I feel, is very important to us fans.  We've used their message board to communicate with each other and get important information about the band since its inception.  It will be odd to not have a message board to go to in order to get questions answered, get a review of a show to fuel our passion for the music when our area has been lacking a show lately, or plan our road trips to see the band. It's always been a fun place to get together with other people who understand the power of the music.  They officially gave a last online date of 2/23, but it's still there today and past experience with them re-vamping the website says it could be as long as a week before this one officially dies and we can longer access it.  Meantime, a shout to all my RCPM friends across the world..."Life is grand, love is real, and beauty is everywhere!" ~ RC 

***

What's happening in your world today? Shoot me line here and let me know.  I love hearing from ya'll, or if you prefer to e-mail that's fine too.  I stay in touch with many of you in that way. I'm trying to recover from the croup, yes...again! That's one reason for being short winded today.  I'm going to get me something hot from the Keurig and take it easy the rest of the day.  Hope ya'll have a glorious day! Baseball will be here soon, spring will be right along with it and we'll start to see the yellow jonquils and vibrant tulips peeking through the hard winter ground.  I can't wait!  "Here's To Life!" ~ RC

Nostalgically yours,

*Hugs* ~ K

The art of being crazy in an insane world...hey Mom, what's for dinner?

"You gotta go a little loco to stay sane" ~ Roger Clyne

I write frequently about the daily grind, about how difficult it can be to get everything done that I need to in one day.  While working a full time day job, I also need dedicated time to write.  Truth be told, like most author friends I have, I'd prefer to be sitting here at the keyboard writing 24/7.  But...the realities of life being what they are, there are bills to pay and one needs a paying job to keep the wheels of a household turning.  To most people who know me, they scratch their heads and wonder how I make it all work, it seems an insane lifestyle. It is!  I won't even try to convince anyone it isn't.  I'm the first to admit my life is pure chaos most of the time.  I have these little snippets of quiet time in the wee morning hours when everyone else in the household is still either sleeping or is working and that gives me some time to organize my thoughts, plan my day and fit in everything I need to accomplish. Most everything. 

"We're a crooked little bloom full of moon perfume, ambrosia in a cup of clay" ~ Roger Clyne

And, like most other authors I know, writing inspiration can strike at any moment from any source.  I might be listening to music in the truck while driving, or working on a project in my office at my day job, or having conversation with someone when a little spark is ignited for an idea to write about.  I carry a pad and pen close at hand at all times and write down those little snippets so I don't forget them.  Likewise, next to the bed there is paper and pen for those middle of the night visions of grandeur.  I've actually written award winning poetry when woke from a dead sleep in the night. I figure our psyche is so relaxed at that time while our bodies and brains are at rest, the creative juices leak out when we least expect it. I've learned to always be prepared for that.  I also have dedicated time here at my keyboard to get more than just a few snippets written.  Many times going into the latest of the night when I've got momentum going to finish a short story, chapter, or the whole book.  The idea is, somehow we all make it work.  I see young moms with small children and wonder how they juggle it all.  I firmly believe God gave us kids when we're young for a reason.  I sure wouldn’t have the stamina to keep up with them now at my age!  Our bodies and minds are designed for such things.  As we age, we morph into doing things and thinking in ways that are streamlined and hopefully, a little simpler.  I'm not sure if it's acquired wisdom or if we just get so tired that we don't mess around with things anymore! I mean, I didn't have the discipline to write a complete story or novel when I was younger.  That didn't happen until I was much older and more settled. 

"Sometimes I slumber on a bed of roses, sometimes I crash in the weeds" ~ Roger Clyne

Giving thanks at this time of year is traditional.  Sometimes when life gives us lemons, it's hard to find something to be thankful for if we're hurting or down, or just received the umpteenth rejection letter.  I'm working diligently to be thankful for people who appreciate me, love me in spite of myself, and accept me with my faults.  I'm my own worst critic, so it's nice to know that there are those who don't see me as evil as I see myself because I'm not flawlessly perfect.  Perfection is ok to strive for, but being able to be content with less has always been my downfall.  If the turkey isn't exactly browned to perfection all over, if the pies get a crack in the crust, or if the yams could have used a little more cinnamon, I'll still smile and be thankful I have people in my life who help me get through each day.  Well...that and the wine that's gonna get me through a whole day of cooking and baking!

"If Ima poor poor devil, Ima lucky, lucky dog...If Ima low low life I'm livin' high on the hog" ~ Guess who? 

So get out the best china, polish up the silver, sparkle the crystal stemware and when you're in the midst of your holiday celebration of thanks, if you get stabbed on the back of your hand while reaching for that last turkey slice, think of me with my dysfunctional family (they all are) with all five of our dogs running through the house, my 17 year old grandson who is stowing his snowboard and coming down off of Lookout long enough to stay with Gramma for the holiday weekend, picture me with my favorite stemware and the red kool-aid *wink* that's keeping me sane through it all.  

"I was cryin' for a vision, I got static instead...boy, oh boy, I got a noisy head" ~ RC 

This blog has been brought to you in the company of all Roger songs, all day today.  It gives me great comfort and helps fuel my creative vehicle.  Check out Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers . It's a fun group of fans and the band always appreciates support. 

If you haven't already gotten your download of The Toluenes "Hola Santa", what the hell are you waiting for? It's free gift from the band for the holiday season.  I love those guys! Check out their music at the website. 

I still have copies of the limited edition of "Bright Lights, Money & Show Biz, Honey" along with "Random Encounters".  I've stocked up on "LifeLoveLust" to throw in with each or both when you order.  My website , or just click on one of the book cover images to the right and it'll get ya' there. 

Hug *lots* of people today!  We could all use some comfort. 

Redeemingly yours,

~ K

“Where Do Dreams Go To Die?”

Where do dreams go to die?

Is it somewhere far?

Way beyond the sky

Do they feel as sad as we?

That our hopes have vanished

How can this be?

We’ve lived so long

With our dreams intact

They’ve evaporated…too quickly gone

But now… how do we revel?

Dreams that were destined

To take us to the next level

They’ve died a sudden death

After years of anticipation

We collectively held our breath

Waiting for them to materialize

To get a life of their own

To take wings and fly

Where do dreams go to die?

I want to go where they go

A serene place to never again cry

Copyright (c) 2009 Kathleen Walker

"LifeLoveLust"

Balancing act

I find myself going in so many directions, sometimes it's more difficult than others to balance it all out.  I purposely have several projects going at once, mostly because I can't live without the aggravation, but also because, well...we never know when we'll run out of time.  I'm afraid I won't get everything done that I want to.  Or more importantly, that I won't get to see all of the people I want to see.  I try to fit a 32 hour day into 24 hours, which means that something, or worse...someone, always suffers a lack of my attention.  I'm so obstinate and stubborn, I still try to find ways to fit it all in and not shortchange anything or anyone.  Usually, I'm the one who ends up with not enough time for myself, and as I get older and hopefully a little wiser, I realize that I need to be more attentive to myself.  Certain factors of my health situation require that I be more vigilant about taking care of myself, but aside from that I really don’t spend much time on just me.  I have few precious times just to myself, even when I'm here at this keyboard writing down my thoughts or working on a fiction project, there are people all around me in the house going about their daily or sometimes nightly routines.  My daughter's work schedule is erratic in the retail world, her boyfriend who lives here, also in retail, normally works nights, and I frequently dog sit for my other daughter who is a teacher and also coaches the high school dance team.  If she has long days for parent teacher conferences, or the dance team is performing at a football game, she'll bring her little shih tzu doggie to have some company during her long workday.  I work a full time job daily, working in my dr. appointments, regular lab visits and various tests into that work day.  I'm so blessed to have a flexible job and people who understand my illness and that it requires so much of my time.  In between all of that, I manage to blog at least a couple of times a week now, pay attention to the social networks to keep up with friends all over the world, and I've somehow managed to finish three self published books with two more on the way early next year.  Oh, yeah...I'm working on getting bands out on the road for some winter shows.  I have no clue how the housework, grocery shopping, laundry, and usual daily chores even get done! My life is a whirlwind for sure, so please pardon my air headedness at times.  I have to look at a calendar to know what day it is, sometimes more than once a day.  I depend on my computer and phone to remind me of the time to try to be punctual for appointments and work times. 

How chaotic is your life? Are you afraid if you stop running yourself ragged that you might have some idle time? What is idle time, anyway? Anybody know?  Here are some things I think of whenever my mind has a second to think of slowing myself down:

“Life is short, eat dessert first” ~ I don’t know who said it first, but I agree

“Dream as if you'll live forever.  Live as if you'll die today” ~James Dean

“As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do” ~Zachary Scott

“To change one's life:  Start immediately.  Do it flamboyantly.  No exceptions” ~William James (this one is my favorite!)

“Hug somebody today! You may never get the chance again” ~ Me :-) 

Hurriedly yours, 

~ K